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Dear Pastor,

I grew up with a brother, sister and parents, but when I was 13, my mother left us with our father.

She said she was spending only two weeks away, but after more than a month, she called my father and told him that she had got a job and she was going to work for three months and come home. She used to call us and tell us how much she missed us, but that she was trying to earn some money to help us.

One day, my father called us together and told us that he heard from one of our aunts that my mother is not planning to come back to Jamaica. She found a wealthy man in America, and so she was going to file for a divorce and stay there. We were shocked. My father started to cry. He said our mother was wicked, and knew exactly what she wanted to do when she left Jamaica. My father did his best for us. We did not have to go to bed hungry. My sister, unfortunately, got pregnant. But one of my aunts came to live with us and she assisted her. My sister went to college and is a teacher today. My brother runs his own business, and presently, I am a student of the University of Technology, Jamaica.

My mother got married, but her marriage did not work. My father told us that he does not want her back. My father is now an elder in a church. He says he would love to get married again, but that church does not recognise people who are divorced. We have never seen our father with another woman. We all respect him, but we wonder how he has been able to do without a woman for so many years. My mother has asked me to talk to my father to take her back, and she has also asked my siblings to speak to him on her behalf. But my father said he does not want her back in his life, because she is like a spoilt, contaminated apple.

Do you think my father should forgive my mother? I know that what my mother did was wrong. But do you think my father should really harden his heart against her?

Initials withheld.

Dear Writer,

Your mother walked away from your father and her children. Perhaps she was led astray by those who were living in America.

Then she got married, but her marriage did not work. But perhaps she got a green card, and now she wants to come back to her husband. But your father does not consider her as his wife any more. She is badly tainted, and your father will not be able to deal with her again. He does not see her as his wife. She is like spoilt goods; and who can blame your father for taking such a position.

I am glad that your siblings and you have done well. I wish the family the very best in life. Your father is not wrong for taking such a position. Your mother should go and make life on her own. That is how I see it.

Pastor