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Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am out of school. I only had four subjects and my passes are not very good.

I am the only child for my parents, but I have other brothers and sisters. My father is a farmer. He is a hard-working man. My mother is a stay at home person. She would put things at the gate such as breadfruit and mango and people would stop and buy. The children would buy sweets from her.

When I was 17 years old, I started to fool around boys. My mother did not want me to talk to any of the guys from the community. She said she didn't want them to get me pregnant. But the first guy who had sex with me did it in my parents' house when my mother was out and my father had gone to his field. Looking back now, on that day, I felt like a prostitute. The guy gave me $2000 after we had sex. Another guy saw me at a party. This party was put on by some of the girls in the community. We were dancing together, and then he asked me if we could be friends and I told him yes. He walked me home, hugged me and kissed me. He said he wanted to have sex with me, but I lied and told him that I was still a virgin, so I couldn't have sex with him.

He took my number and we began talking. He would call me every day to check up on me. One night he confessed to me that he has two babymothers, but he would drop them and come to me because he always wanted a virgin to be his wife. I kept silent, but I have been wondering about the lie I told him that I have never had sex. What can I do? Should I tell him the truth now? He will never trust me again. Please give me your advice.

K.L.

Dear K.L.,

You have not said anything about going back to school, so there is where I want to start.

What are you planning to do about your life? What kind of career do you want? I am sure that you know that HEART/NSTA Trust is the place to train people in different areas of work, so you need to get up from where you are and call HEART and ask the officials to advise you what you need to do. Do you want to be a practical nurse? What is it you really need? If you do not get training, you will not be able to support yourself or assist your parents. It is then likely that men will use you.

This young man who had sex with you for the first time gave you money and the man that you lied to has already told you that he has two children with two different women. Most likely, he would want you to have a child by him. Don't write me back unless you are giving me the good news that you are in school. I wish you all the best.

Pastor