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Dear Pastor,

I am having a concern. I am a woman with five children. I started to have my children at a young age.

My husband does not want me to get pregnant again, so he is encouraging me to do the tubal ligation, but I am afraid. As a Christian, I do not want to disrupt God's plans for me. I love my husband but it has been a struggle for us to support these children. I really do not want to get pregnant again. My husband says that he is tired of using the condom, so I should do the tubal ligation.

I do not want my husband to do any operation that would stop him from functioning well. I don't believe that a man should do anything that may prevent him from performing well in the bedroom. My church is against a woman or a man stopping themselves from having children. I worked up the courage one day and asked my pastor's wife what she suggests that a woman should do if she does not want children. She was there mumbling in response. So I said to her "Excuse me, let me ask you the question in a direct way, what do you do?" She said her husband pulls out when they are having sex as he knows when he is about to discharge - and it has worked. But she would not suggest that to me because she knows a couple of women who got pregnant by what they call the withdrawal method. She laughed and told me I was brave to ask her.

Do you think I will be sinning my soul to do the tubal ligation operation so that I will not get pregnant again?

Anonymous

Dear Writer,

You have five children, and at your age, you are still very conscious that you can still become pregnant.

You don't want your husband to tie his tubes. You believe that it is a great risk for him to do so. I think you are worried about something that is very simple. The vasectomy operation is very safe and it does not affect a man from performing in the bedroom or from having great sex. You should do your own research and you will discover that men who have done vasectomies are very happy that they did.

I do understand your concerns. Five children are enough. You will have to educate them and it might be a big burden for your husband and you. What I would suggest is that your husband and you make an appointment to see a family counsellor who is married and who can give you further guidance. I would suggest that you encourage your husband to do the vasectomy.

Pastor