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Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am working. It is my intention to go back to school in the near future.

I have a girlfriend who is 19 years old and she is crazy in love with me. She is my first girlfriend, but I am not her first boyfriend. We live in the same community; everybody knows each other. People have been talking about us and some say that my girlfriend is not a good girl, so I should break up with her.

I attend church, but she is not interested in doing that. I am trying not to give up on her because I really love her. She has never told me that she loves me. When I asked her how come she has never told me that she loves me, she said I should be able to see it by her actions. My godmother who helped to raise me cautioned me about this girl, but it is hard for me to let her go. I am hoping that she would change for the better.

I would like to be a lawyer. I have always loved that profession. I would like to defend some of the men who were arrested in our community. These are good men, they are not criminals. Many have got themselves into trouble because of the bad company they have kept. Even my girlfriend has told me that she has smoked weed, but she has not done it for a long time. I told her that my godmother wants to see both of us, but she is not interested in meeting with her. My godmother told my father to warn me to leave this girl. But the only way I would leave is if she has got herself into trouble because I love her so much.

Now, what do you have to say?

H.M.

Dear H.M.,

I cannot remember the name of the calypso song, but I remember these words of it: "what she give me to rub, I eat". What you have eaten from this girl has turned you into a fool.

This girl is your first girlfriend, so whatever she gave you, hooked you, and you believe that you have to stay with her. In Jamaica, people talk about women tying men with food, so perhaps this girl has tied you with you know what. If you were wise, you would take heed and end the relationship with this girl. Walk away from her, or better yet, run with all your might.

Pastor