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Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I have a boyfriend. We have been friends from high school.

He was in a higher class than me at the time. He was not only my boyfriend, but my best friend. Other girls liked him but he did not take them on. He told me that I was special to him. We took each other's virginity. He told me that I have tied him to me. He got to know my parents; they liked him, and his parents liked me.

He got into university. I did not have anybody to help me. However, I have an aunt and an uncle in Canada and they promised that they would assist me. I told my boyfriend that I wanted to study to become a pharmacist. I am not a dunce person. I noticed that he was pulling away from me. When I wanted to see him, he was very busy. I then found out that one of the girls who attended the same high school with us, and who always liked him, was pushing up on him. She is also attending university. They linked up and were having sex. I asked him why he was doing that and he said because I am not available and she is available. But he said that I should not fret about that because he will never leave me.

I texted this girl and told her she should leave my man alone and the rude girl replied that I am not giving him what she is giving him. He can't get it from me, so I should keep my 'F' mouth shut. I am so mad with my boyfriend. How can he leave me for this girl? Some of my friends say that the girl likes to fool around men, and a man is a man. Men are not going to turn away from girls who offer them sex. Sometimes I tell myself that I will hurt this girl if she does not leave my man alone. The last time he and I had sex was last November when his parents went to America for Thanksgiving. I am longing for this man. I have to be crying myself to sleep at nights.

Please tell me what to do.

K.P.

Dear K.P.,

I want to encourage you not to give up. Your aim is to attend university and you have an aunt and an uncle who have promised to assist you.

Keep them informed. Tell them exactly what progress you have made. You should not allow what your boyfriend is doing to make you feel very depressed. You found out that he got involved with this young lady who was also a student at your high school, and who has made herself available to him. He has admitted that they have had sexual relations, but it is not permanent. He might not be speaking the truth, but you have to be very careful that this young man doesn't get you pregnant.

Please perish the thought of wanting to hurt the young woman. Don't discuss your boyfriend with your friends. They might not be telling you the truth about the young woman. Keep yourself occupied by assisting others. Spend lots of time in reading; it will help your vocabulary. Please let me hear from you again.

Pastor