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Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column from I was a child. I grew up with my uncle and his wife. They don't have children of their own, so they asked my mother to allow me to live with them.

I am from a rural community. When I came to live with my uncle and his wife I could hardly read, but my uncle's wife is a teacher and she took me under her wings. I remember not wanting to speak in class because the students would laugh at me. I could not pronounce my name properly either.

My grammar was so bad, my uncle and his wife decided not to take me to church until it improved. It took me for about six months to improve my grammar.

There were time when my uncle's wife was rough with me, but my uncle reminded her that she knows where I am coming from, and the circumstances my mother faced. He told her that she should take time with me.

I got to love my uncle's wife because she has her own car and she took me to school and picked me up in the evenings. She also bought me nice clothes. She did not hit me, but she threatened many times that she would send me back home.

One day my uncle and his wife were not at home and I was sitting on the veranda when one of the boys from the area called out to me. I went to the gate to talk to him. He said that he admires me and he likes me. I told him I was not interested. He asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him no, but I didn't want any.

I turned away and went back to sit on the veranda and he went away. When my uncle came back I told him about this boy and he warned me not to talk to the guys in the neighbourhood.

Another day, a man came to cut the grass and he told me that I am a nice looking girl and he would like to pick my rose. I didn't understand what he meant. He said he would show me what he meant.

He tried to touch me and I moved away from him. He lied and told my aunt that I put question to him and he had to rebuke me. My aunt did not believe him, and she told my uncle. That day, my uncle told him not to come back to his place.

In high school, my schoolmate were always talking about sex. They asked me if I don't have sex and I told them no. I told them no that I didn't have a boyfriend and I was too young.

When I was 16, I went to the supermarket with my aunt. One of the packers followed me into every aisle and told me how he was admiring me. I did not know that this guy was related to my uncle's wife. When I told her what he was saying to me she told him to go and look for his babymother and to stop putting questions to me.

I am grateful to my uncle and his wife for the help they have given me. I am now 20 years old and I am working. My uncle still wants to support me but my aunt is saying that they have done enough. I will be graduating from HEART very soon. I would love to travel. I have lots of penpals and they are encouraging me to come to the United States of America.

My uncle says that I should not think about moving out until I am in a position where I don't have to move back. My uncle's wife says that she has other relatives that she would like to assist and they have done their best to help me.

What should I do?

O.D

Dear O.D,

You are currently attending HEART and this skills gained there should help you to get a good job. Your uncle and his wife have done their best for you, so thank them for what they have done. Your aunt wants you to declare your independence. She does not want to force you out unless your uncle's agrees.

Be very careful that you don't get involved with any man who may get you pregnant and hinder your progress. The day my come when you have a good man in your life, in the meantime, continue to show gratitude to your uncle and his wife.

You may not want to return to rural Jamaica. You desire it seems is to go to the USA. I wish you well. If you are able to get a visa, don't overstay your time. Don't be illegal anywhere you go. Follow the laws of the land, and if you do so you will not have to be worrying about anything.

Take good care of yourself.

Pastor