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Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I am writing to you, but I can call myself a fan. I buy THE STAR every day just to read your column.

I am 22 and the mother of one child. I got pregnant by this man who told me that he was single. I am from the countryside, and he is from Kingston. He is a very handsome guy, and after getting to know him, he started to help me financially. He gave me everything I asked for. He met my parents and they loved him.

I had a boyfriend, but I left him when I met this man. My ex gave me very little. Whenever I asked him for help, he used to say that I love money too much and that he had to support his mother. So when I met this new man and I realised that he was working with a contractor and making good money, I gave myself over to him. We had sex many times and we always used protection, but one time we went to Negril and the condom broke when we were having sex. It was a Friday night and we were at a guesthouse, so we didn't think much about it. We stayed until Sunday evening.

I missed my period and told him about it. I was really concerned. I mentioned it to a friend, and she said my period might just be late. When the second month came and I did not see my period, I went to the doctor, did a test and found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend and he told me I should get rid of it. I told my mother that I was pregnant and what my boyfriend told me I should do. She told me that if I had an abortion, I should consider myself a murderer, so I told my boyfriend that I cannot have the abortion. He said that I am on my own. I kept calling him, and he wouldn't answer. He blocked my number. A few weeks later, I got through to one of his friends, and he told me that he had gone to Canada because that's where his wife lives. I said "Wife?" and he said yes. I was surprised that I did not know that this man was married.

I had the baby. This man has never helped me. Through his friend, I informed him that I have a son, but he has never sent me anything for the child. I am now finishing up my studies at university. It is hard, but I am getting some help from another man. I know that this man has his woman, but I won't push up myself and get involved with his woman. I am still living at my parents' home and I am very careful. I give this man some sex because he expects me to do so. He uses protection, but I am also on the Pill. I do not want anything from my babyfather. I am working hard, and my father is always encouraging me.

I am the only child of my parents, and my father always says that whatever they have belongs to me. This is a lovely home, and I would like to get married someday. I hope it will happen. Pray for me.

G.P.

Dear G.P,

I am glad that you are a regular reader of my column. I believe that you are a good woman. Unfortunately, you were fooled by a wicked man.

He should have told you the truth. You thought that he was a good man, so you fell in love with him. So many girls have been tricked by wicked men, but many of these women have bounced back, so to speak. You will survive and get ahead.

You are in college and you have good parents who are doing their best. I am glad that you did not terminate your pregnancy. The child is going to grow up in a stable environment. Your parents are proud of you and they will do their very best to support their grandson. Even after you got pregnant, this man could have told you that he is married and that he lied to you. He ran away. One of these days, I hope that your son will meet him. In the meantime, try to educate your boy.

Concerning this other man who is now in your life; please be careful. You have made a good point. Not many men will give a woman money and not expect to receive something from her. But be careful about what you do. You don't want to get pregnant again and that man has his permanent woman. So be careful and please keep in touch with me.

Pastor