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Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old and I have a problem that is really bothering me. I have a girlfriend and we started living together four months ago.

When we became friends I wasn't serious with her, so I did not care much what she did. She told me that she was going out with other guys. One day I asked her whether she was having sex with them and she said she did so a couple of times. I told her to be very careful and to make sure that these guys use protection. She said yes. Then one day she texted me that she would stop playing around with other guys if we would have a serious relationship. I decided that I would stop going out with other girls and stick with her.

One day I came home and I saw two suitcases at my veranda. The landlord told me that a young lady brought them and told him that I am her boyfriend and she would be back. He asked me how I am going to manage because he knew that other girls used to come to see me. I took this girl in and I told the landlord the truth.

Her father had thrown her out because she was disrespectful to him and she was not helping her mother in the house. This girl is unemployed. I was not interested in living with anybody because my bona fide girlfriend is in America, and we planned to get married. She has her green card and our wedding is planned for next year. I did not tell this girl that I have a girlfriend in America.

My girlfriend came to Jamaica suddenly to surprise me on my birthday and her brother brought her to the house. My landlord saw her and called me on the phone and told me that she was there. I could not do anything. I had to open the door for her and when she came in and saw the girl, she was furious and demanded that I put her out right away. I had to beg for her. I called my landlord for help. My girlfriend said that if I did not put out the girl she was going to call her brother to come back for her. The landlord came and explained to my girlfriend how this girl happened to be here, and he got my girlfriend to quiet down. She told me she came to Jamaica to surprise me and to give me good sex. She was only spending the weekend.

My landlord allowed this girl to stay on his side of the house, and I promised my girlfriend that I will tell her to find another place to go. She is still here with me because she does not have anywhere to live. My girlfriend calls me every day to find out if she is still at the house. I have to be lying to her. I warn the other girl every day not to answer my phone when it rings.

My landlord knows that we are still sleeping together. She is not qualified to do much but I am encouraging her to attend HEART and to do catering or something in that area. I can't handle the situation. I know I can't put her out because I am responsible for her being here.

- J.P.

Dear J.P,

I suggest that you try to assist this girl to get a live-in job. In that way she would at least have food and a place to sleep. Often, people are looking for helpers who are reliable, so assist her to put an advertisement in The Gleaner. She might be fortunate to pick up a job from a couple with one or two children.

In the meantime, she should check HEART and see how she may be able to attend school while working. My friend, you have to learn to behave and you should give thanks because you are able to convince your fiancee that you were not wilfully fooling around. Your landlord also helped to convinced your fiancee by telling her how this young lady came to stay with you.

- Pastor