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Dear Pastor,

I am 15 years old and currently in high school. I live with my mother. I have a brother, but he lives with my father.

My father is married and has two children with his wife. When my parents separated, my father took my brother to live with him.

My mother often says she is more intelligent than my father. He didn't get the chance to go very far in school, but he works in construction and has done very well. He has worked for many prominent people in society, and they speak highly of him.

Growing up with my mother, I got used to seeing different men in her life. Some people might call my mother a 'hot girl'. I know that some of these men have helped her financially. Recently, one of these men - who is married - told me that he loves me, but asked me not to tell my mother. My mother suspected something and, while we were in the kitchen, she asked me if he had ever said anything inappropriate to me. I told her yes, and explained what he said. She asked why I hadn't told her sooner.

I said it happened recently and I haven't spoken to him since. She told me she would no longer be involved with him and that she had noticed the way he looked at me.

I didn't realize he was watching me in a certain way, but my mother said he always stares at me when I walk past him. On my 15th birthday, he gave me an envelope with $10,000 in it. I didn't tell my mother because I needed a few things and she didn't have the money to get them. But I know it would be wrong to have any kind of relationship with him, especially since he and my mother are involved.

On parents' day at school, my mother met one of my male teachers. He fell for her and later invited her out. I told her that he already has a girlfriend who also teaches at my school. Still, they went out, and now he visits our home. Whenever he comes over, I lock myself in my room. I told my mother she is going to ruin this man's relationship. She told me not to worry because she knows exactly what she wants from him. When he sees me at school, he is very friendly, but I keep my distance.

My mother has a good job, and my father sends her money for me. But it seems like she's never satisfied. My mother likes politics and some of the politicians are using her. One of them comes to see her in the dead of the night.

Honestly, I wish I could live with my father. Sometimes I feel ashamed of what my mother is doing.

K.T

Dear K.T.,

Your mother is not setting good examples for you, but she knows that you are not a fool. Try your very best not to become involved with any of her male friends.

When your mother is talking to you about relationships, you should listen, but use the opportunity to tell her that you know what she is doing is not right either. She may insult you or rebuke you if you were to tell her about the new relationship she has developed with the school teacher. However, you should stand your grounds and tell her she should set better example for you, as her daughter. She may threaten to knock you down and if she threatens you, don't be surprise at that because that is how some mothers react when they realized that their daughters are aware of what they are doing.

Try to remain a chase girl. Do well at school. Let the young men at school know that you are not prepared to play around with them. Don't take money from any man, if you need something that is important and necessary, speak to your father about it. Don't be rude to your mother; respectively speak to her about how you feel about issues. I wish you well.

Pastor