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Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old man and I used to live with my mother and stepfather. However, my stepfather and I never got along. Whenever we had a disagreement, he would call me stupid, curse at me, and say it was time for me to leave. He did this so many times that my mother eventually got involved.

At first, I tried to ignore him, but I couldn't take it anymore. I started responding and told him I would soon move out and never return to his house. One day during one of our arguments, my mother tried to step in again. That's when he told her he was tired of her, too, and she could leave as well. My mother told him he wouldn't have to say it twice.

My mother has two brothers and a sister living in New York, and she has a visa. They encouraged her to come and stay with them. Not long after, she realised her passport was missing. It turned out he had hidden it in an old suitcase. She found it but didn't even bother to ask him why he took it -- she just removed it and made up her mind.

Right now, I'm staying at a friend's house but it's not easy. I don't have a bed of my own and I sleep on the floor on an old mattress. Still, I'm grateful I'm no longer being verbally abused by my stepfather.

My mother is planning to leave Jamaica very soon. Most of the things in the house -- like the refrigerator, stove, and dining table--belong to her. She plans to move them out when he's not home, so he'll return to an empty house.

I'm attending school and can barely support myself. I can't live with my father either, as he doesn't have the space. I really wish I could go to America with my mother, but, hopefully, I'll get the opportunity someday. My stepfather is ignorant and unreasonable -- he has no ability to reason properly.

D.D.

Dear D.D.,

I hope that your mother will not rush out of Jamaica to live in America unless she has done so according to law. If she is fortunate to get a work permit and to obtain legal status in America, that would be alright. However, her relatives should not encourage her to do anything that is illegal.

Would it not be better for her siblings and others to assist her while she remains in Jamaica for a while, until they could file for her to live and work in America? You should discuss these things with your mother.

I am sorry that your mother got involved with this man who behaves as a beast. Forgive him for the way he has treated you, he does not know better. I am glad that you at least have a place to stay at.

Life will not always be rough with you, your circumstances will change. Keep strong.

Pastor