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Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column since I was a little girl, and I am now 43 years old and still reading and enjoying it.

I came to your church for an event and I was happy to see you. I never thought I would have seen you in person. I am married and I have two daughters. My husband and I have a problem. He says that I talk too much. I have to admit that I like to talk. My children say "Daddy is right, you talk too much." My husband tells his mother everything and she calls him many times during the day - even at nights when my husband and I are having our time in bed.

Recently, I grabbed the phone and I said to her, "Miss 'So and so' - I called her by her pet name. I told her I was on top of her son, so whatever she wanted to say to him, she would have to do it in the morning. My husband was so annoyed with me. He said I disrespected his mother and his mother has a right to call him at any time. I told him that I was the one who bought the phone for him and if I feel like destroying it, I will. We had a real heated argument, but I satisfied myself. From that time, his mother has stopped talking to me, but I don't care because this man cannot do without me. I have made him what he is today and I deserve to have my private time with him.

If his mother is feeling a headache, she calls him and asks him to go and purchase tablets for her, and he stops whatever he is doing and goes. Did I do anything wrong by telling his mother to call back the following day? I know I have a good man. He tells me I am too aggressive. I like to kiss and hug and play with his 'something'. And if I don't hold him and hug him, I will be in the bed for a whole week and he wouldn't touch me.

I know he doesn't have an outside woman, but I will love for this man to communicate with me more. Sometimes during the day, I call him just to tell him I am cooking his favourite meal, and he would say "Alright" and hang up. He takes such a long time to come home, and when he does, instead of hugging me, he behaves as if I am not around. The first thing he asks is "Where are those girls?" Many women would love to have this type of man. I love him, but I want more attention. His daughters love him and they still cuddle up to him as if they are babier. One is 10 years old and the other is 12.

My husband is a school teacher and he spends lots of time with the girls and their lessons. I appreciate that, but when we go to bed, I want more of him. He tells me I am going to kill him and I tell him that I will bury him, but I am only joking. How do I get more attention from this man?

R.S.

Dear R.S.,

I am glad to hear you say that your husband is a good man. I would like you to know that when your hubby comes home, you should give him time to unwind.

He is dealing with children every day. He has to talk a lot, so he is tired. Learn to rub him down after he has had his shower and lotion him. Don't do that every night and don't do so just when you want to have sex with him. Try to get this man to relax. He is under stress, so try not to distress him.

Your husband's mother should not call her son late at night except there is an emergency. She should use common sense knowing that he is a married man. You did not do anything wrong by telling her to call her son in the morning. Your husband is a wonderful father. Allow him to enjoy the company of his two daughters.

Before I go, let me ask you this question: Are you employed? From the tone of your letter, it doesn't seem that way. It seems to me that you have plenty of time on your hand. The man said you are going to kill him. He ought to know why he feels that way. I am gone.

Pastor