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Dear Pastor,

I enjoy reading your column and I also enjoy hearing you on the radio. You are my company at nights.

I am a widow. My husband departed this world one year ago, so I am alone. I have five children, two of them live in Jamaica, but they are not living with me. They live with their husbands. I love having my grandchildren around on weekends, but they are with their parents during the week because they have to go to school.

I am 67 years old. When my husband died he had just turned 70. He was a wonderful man. He did not leave me in debt. Our house is paid for, I am mortgage-free. I have a good pension. Sometimes I feel a bit lonely, but my friends are always checking on me, and my children call me every day.

However, I am perplexed by the actions of some of my late husband's friends. They have been suggesting that they can "take over his role". Six months after my husband passed, one of his close friends told me that he wanted to come and stay with me. I told him that my husband's body was not even cold in the grave, so why would I invite him into my home?

This man has a wife, and she and I go to senior citizens' meetings and we always exchange ideas. I cannot be out of my mind to go to bed with this man; that is what he wants me to do.

I told one of my sons about the man's suggestion. He told me that if the man comes again, I should call him so he can speak to the man directly and warn him not to return. I told my son I could handle the situation.

If I wanted sex, I would not turn to any of these men. I'm not saying that I don't have desires from time to time -- I'm human -- but I'm certainly not sex-crazed.

Sometimes I wonder if I should pray and ask God to take away my nature. Do you think that is a wise idea?

I am happy to write to you, and I want you to keep up your good work. I will continue to read your column and to listen to your show.

M.E.,

Dear M.E.,

I consider you an intelligent woman. I regret hearing that your husband has passed. You are fortunate that he has not left you in debt.

You are equally fortunate to have children who talk to you every day. As you know, some children don't care much about their parents. However, your children make sure that you are alright, and they want you to be happy every day.

Regarding the men who have been calling and suggesting they can "take over" your husband's place -- you are wise to be cautious. Some of these men lack good morals. You should not entertain their calls or allow them into your home. The man who said he wants to stay with you should not be welcome in your house at all.

I'm happy that you spend time with other senior citizens. I encourage you to consider volunteering a day or two each week with an organisation that could benefit from your skills and experience. That will help keep you active and fulfilled, and give you a greater sense of purpose.

It is natural to experience sexual desires from time to time. Your body is not lifeless, and there is no shame in having feelings -- it simply means you are human. These urges can be controlled with focus and purpose.

I suppose you attend church often. Volunteer some of your time doing church work, there must be areas at church in which you can work.

Discuss what I have said with your pastor and his wife.

Pastor