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Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff. I hope you can be of help to me. I am in my early 40s and I have been married for eight years.

My wife and I were attending church on Sundays, but it has been about two years now she stopped. I continue to go and to take our only son with me.

My wife has people coming to our house having Bible study with her. She claims that they are the true followers of God. She has been encouraging me to join in with them, but I refused. She wanted our son to also join the study, but I told her to leave him alone. These people bring her books, magazines and everything, and now she wants to argue about my fate.

She has since been baptised by this group, and I have left her alone in that regard. However, she now claims that I am worshipping the anti-Christ. She no longer believes in hell. We used to enjoy religious holidays together - especially Christmas - when relatives would come over. We cooked special meals, sang carols, and exchanged gifts. All of that has stopped.

Last Christmas, I took my son to my sister's house for dinner. My wife was very upset. I have never stopped her from attending her meetings, but I have put my foot down about these people coming to our house - and that has caused a lot of conflict. I don't think I'm wrong. As I said, I don't stop her from practising her faith, but I don't want people in my home who condemn everything I believe.

I don't believe I am wrong. As I said, I don't prevent her from going to her religious meetings, but I don't want these people in my house because everything I believe, they condemn.

I know that my minister is not following an anti-christ. What do you think I should do? I am worried because the sweet woman I am married to has now turned into a fanatic. Give me your suggestions please.

- A.C

Dear A.C.,

You consider that your wife has become a religious fanatic. When both of you met, fell in love and got married, you attended the same church, but now your wife has changed.

Many times people who are married change their religious beliefs and the church they attend. In Jamaica, it is not uncommon for people to stop going to churches that they think are not preaching the truth, so to speak. I have met so many of them. Let me give you an example. There are women who used to process their hair and wear make-up, etc. and look very attractive, but then they started to attend churches that condemn these things. They get baptised and are told to tarry for the Holy Ghost and to speak in tongues to prove that they are converted.

Their spouses often object to these sudden changes. These women would attend meetings almost nightly, sometimes neglecting their husbands, which lead to tension and resentment in the home.

Similarly, some people become Sabbath keepers, stop cooking pork, and begin observing the Sabbath from Friday evening--while their spouse does not follow those beliefs. Naturally, this leads to conflict.

Sometimes it is not the women who have changed, it is the men. Religion can cause the breaking up of couples. I have seen the destruction of couples all the time because of religious beliefs.

My dear, Sir, try your best to live in peace with your wife. Continue to go to your church and allow her to go where she wants to go. She ought not to insist that her religious friend should come to your house if you do not want them there. However, don't prevent her from going to her meetings.

It is very sad that your son is torn between the both of you over religion. Take him to church with you. He is accustomed to going to your church. But if he says to you at any time that he does not want to go with you, he would prefer to go with his mother, please allow him.

The Bible says two people can't walk together unless they agree. So unless a miracle takes place, there will always be fuss in the house over religious beliefs. I say to couples all the time, religion can strengthen the relationship or destroy it, so use wisdom. I wish you well.

- Pastor