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Dear Pastor,

I am a 17-year-old girl and I am living with my parents. I love them dearly, but they are very strict. They do not want me to go out with my friends. The only place they allow me to go is church.

I have school friends, and sometimes they invite me to parties. However, my parents say that I am not ready for that. My mother told me that she did not go anywhere when she was growing up, and that is why she did not get pregnant until she was married. I told my mother that she does not have anything to fear because I am not sexually active, so I cannot get pregnant.

She recently told me about a friend, whose daughter told her mother that she was a virgin, and to her surprise the 'virgin girl' got pregnant. When they questioned her how she got pregnant and she was a virgin, she told them that she had sex only once. She and the boy took a chance and she did not know that she would have got pregnant just like that.

My mother told me that a girl doesn't have to have sex more than once to get pregnant. I told my mother I am not a fool and she should know that I would know if a girl takes a chance and have unprotected sex, she could become pregnant.

But pastor, even when my friends are going to the beach and adults are there, my parents do not allow me. I have a boyfriend and we attend the same church. My mother said she suspected us and she went behind my back and asked the guy if we ever had sex. He told her that he did not know whether I was male or female. He also said that if she truly wants to know, he can check me out and get back to her.

My mother cursed him and told him he was out of order, but he said no, it was my mother who was out of order because if we had sex, he wouldn't tell her. That is why he reacted that way and put her in her place.

The young man is 19 years old. I am getting to love him more and more. I am dying to leave my parents' house. I have applied to a university in Florida. My sister lives in the United States of America and is pushing for me to come there.

Do you think that I am too young to go on dates or to have a boyfriend? I hope to hear from you.

K.S

Dear K.S.,

Your parents should realise that it would do you no good or do them any good to lock you up in a box. You are old enough to go out with your friends. Silly parents believe that when a girl goes out with a male, they are going to have sex. You are not even asking to go out on a single date; you are going out with a group of people.

Your mother crossed the line when she asked this young man you love whether both of you had sex. She should have known better. On the other hand, I want to ask you to be careful how you talk to your mother. Please don't lose respect for her. She means well. However, due to her desire to see you grow up right, she is making big mistakes.

I hope that you will eventually leave Jamaica and go to study in Florida. I wish you well. Take care of yourself.

Pastor