ÐÓ°ÉÐÔ°É

Dear Pastor,

I am almost 30 and something has been bothering me for a long time. When I was 25, I went to a party with one of my brothers and I had too much to drink.

My brother took me home, stayed at my place for the night and slept with me. We had sex. I knew that my brother was having sex with me, but I was out of this world. I did not know how to resist him. Early the next morning when I finally woke up and came to my senses, my brother did not have any pants on; neither did I. My panties were off too. I asked my brother why he had sex with me and he said he didn't even know what he was doing.

I asked him what would happen if he got me pregnant. I was so ashamed to know that this is a brother I trusted and always looked up to as a decent older sibling. To know that my brother saw my nakedness has always bothered me. I went out and bought the morning after pill. I did not talk to my brother for a whole year after that incident, although he tried to reach out to me to ask for my forgiveness.

This brother is a public figure. I do not go to his house any more. The big problem I am having is that I have been dating a gentleman who is genuine. One day he asked me if I have any secrets that I should reveal to him. I told him that I do not have any secrets that he should know. But then, I have been wondering whether I should tell him about the sexual encounter that I had with my brother, who he knows. If I were to tell him, he might not look at me and my brother as decent people. You may be surprised to know that since my brother had sex with me almost five years ago, the only other time I had sex was with this present man, because I resented all men. It was difficult for me to trust any of them.

One day my brother called me and said that he wished that he could do something to cause us to have a good relationship. I told him we can - he should go and hang himself. I told him that I might tell his wife what he did to me, but I was not serious. I will never tell her. But should I tell this man who asked me if I have anything that I am hiding from him? We hope to get married in December.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

I know a young lady very well. She is now a Christian and she said that she loved to drink.

She enjoyed drinking rum - beer was too light for her. She got pregnant because a man took her out and they were drinking rum and she lost control. What many people fail to realise is that alcohol breaks down one's inhibitions. That is why it is dangerous for girls who go out with men to allow men to pour out drinks for them. Sometime ago, I was listening to a broadcast by Bill Graham and a young woman gave her testimony. She went to a party and was drinking. She lost control of herself and got drunk. When she woke up, she was in the bed of a strange man, who she did not know. She became a Christian after that experience.

You knew your brother, he was not a stranger. He should have protected you. He saw that you were drunk, but he took you home and sexually assaulted you. He is a beast in human form. You can never respect him. The question is whether you should tell your fiance what happened, and straight up, I am going to tell you that you should keep your mouth shut. Telling him that your brother had sexual intercourse with you would not help the relationship.

Now, I hasten to say that some people may not agree with me, but this is a matter that you would have to go to your grave with.

Pastor