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Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and I have a two-month-old child. I am breastfeeding this baby because my doctor has encouraged me to do so.

My husband is 23 years old. I have returned to work because my husband does not make enough money for me to be on leave for three months. The company I work with offered me another extra month without pay, but I could not take up the offer because we could not afford to do without the money.

I am writing to you to get your opinion. I don't know what to do with my husband. He is behaving worse than my baby. My husband is robbing the baby of my breast milk. It is not that I have extra milk in my breasts. Sometimes even when I am sleeping, my husband is sucking my breasts, and drinking the milk that should be for the baby. I did not know that a man could be enjoying breast milk so much. Part of his excuse is that by drinking my breasts' milk, I will not get pregnant for a long time.

I asked a nurse at the clinic and she said my husband is talking nonsense. She said "Breastfeeding a child will not prevent the mother from getting pregnant because some women have got pregnant even before they begin to menstruate." Some women have got pregnant about six weeks after they have given birth. But it is a common thing in Jamaica to hear people say that while a woman is breastfeeding, she will not get pregnant.

I have been begging my husband to return to using the condom, but he is not doing it. But I will have to resume using the Pill. If I had not taken a break from using it, I would not have got pregnant. I love my husband, but he is so hard-headed, he likes to have his own way. He loves to read your column, so I know that he will listen to what you say. So please do not put my letter aside; answer it as soon as you can. I would appreciate that very much.

R.L.

Dear R.L.,

This is not the first time that I am getting complaints from mothers whose boyfriends and husbands are enjoying breast milk.

Women who are nursing their babies have had to tolerate having their men sucking their breasts, and as you say, robbing their babies of the milk. God did not intend for the milk from a woman's breast to be given to grown men; it is for babies. So your husband should desist from that practice.

Concerning the matter of whether a woman can become pregnant while she is breastfeeding, the answer is yes, she can. You should not listen to what your husband is saying, but it is a well known myth that many people believe. They think that if a woman is breastfeeding, she does not have to use any sort of contraceptive because she will not become pregnant. If your husband will not use the condom, you need to hurry and go to your doctor and have him tell you what type of pill you need to purchase. Then you need to resume taking this sort of contraception, because if you delay, you may find yourself pregnant again very soon. So do so early.

Pastor