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Dear Pastor,

My girlfriend and I are both 24. I am very happy to have this woman in my life but she doesn't always believe what I tell her.

She had a boyfriend who used to lie to her but I don't. I tell her the truth and she is not accustomed to that. When we met and I expressed my love to her, she said she didn't believe me. She asked me how many girls I have told that I love them and I told her many, especially when I wanted sex. She said well, that is what I want from her, so she was not interested.

This young woman kept me guessing for weeks until I invited her out to a play and I borrowed my cousin's car. I picked her up at her gate and she loved that. I also had enough money to treat her during intermission and I took her back home at a reasonable time that impressed her sister who was at her house. When I took her home, her mother asked how come she was home so early. She told her mother that her date brought her back after the play was over.

This young woman occasionally asks me for financial assistance and I help her out. I told her after the relationship was six months old that I would like something from her and she told me that she thought I would never ask. She was wondering if I was normal. I asked her what that meant and she said normal meant that after going with a girl for a while, men want something. I asked her if she was ready for that something and she said I only had to ask. She asked me when I wanted it and I told her I wanted it on Valentine's Day. She told me she would be ready. I took this girl to a certain place and as she got out of the car, she rushed back in. I asked her what happened and she said she saw her father and a woman going into the same hotel, so we should not stay there. Her father did not see her.

This girl and I really love each other. I would love for us to get married but she still does not trust me one 100 per cent. What can I do to convince her that I love her and I would be faithful to her?

Please for your advice.

- T.P.

Dear T.P.,

This young lady knows that men will lie and cry to get what they want from women, and often when they succeed, they laugh at them.

So you will have to understand that she wanted to be cautious, but you played your card well. When you took her out to see the play, you took her home at a reasonable time. You did not ask her for sex; you behaved as a gentleman, and even if she felt that you were not a gentleman, you impressed her. It is not unusual for girls to ask men for sex. Just as what this girl told you is true. When men wait for a long time before asking girls for sex, they think that something has gone wrong with them or that the men have gone on the 'other side'.

It must have been very shocking when you took this young woman to a motel for her to see her father and another woman about to enter the same place. What was her daddy doing there? He was going there to do the same thing that his daughter and you were going to do.

I hope that you would be a good man to this young woman and that you would be truthful to her. And may I say that the only thing a man can do to convince a woman that he is for real is to continue to be faithful to her and not play around with other women. Time will tell if this woman will believe you or not.

- Pastor