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Dear Pastor,

I am 24 years old and I have two children, a boy and a girl. Their father and I are getting along well, but his job takes him all over Jamaica.

Sometimes he is out for days. I get very worried about him. When he is not at home, I talk to him on the phone, but he does not want me to call him after 9 p.m.; he goes to bed early. One night I called him about 10 p.m. and when he answered, I heard a woman's voice in the background. I apologised for calling after 9, but I told him that our daughter was ill and I wanted him to know that I took her to the doctor. I asked him who was the woman that I heard in the background and he said it was the television that was on, but I did not believe him.

When he got home a couple of days later, I mentioned again that I was sure I heard a woman's voice, but he said that he did not have any woman with him. I wasn't there, so I dropped the matter. But I have a concern because I am a very careful person. I take good care of my body. I started to have sex when I was 19 years old and I did not have many partners before meeting this man. I take very good care of my private parts. I believe that my children's father has passed on lice to me. He said he could swear on the Bible that they did not come from him. So I asked him where it came from. I have not gone out with any man, so how did I get lice?

I experience itching. I was so uncomfortable. Where do you think this came from if not from my children's father? Please let me hear from you. I love my children's father and he loves his children. But I am beginning to believe that he is playing around with other women.

I.C.

Dear I.C.,

You say that your boyfriend's job takes him all over Jamaica, and so many evenings he does not come home.

You only became suspicious of him when you were forced to call him about 10 p.m. You thought you heard a female's voice, but he told you that it was the television. You doubted that, but you have now discovered that you have pubic lice, and you believe that you got it from him. You must be very angry with him. You know how careful you have been with yourself. Pubic lice are treatable. You should discuss this matter with your doctor.

If your children's father is sleeping at different places when he travels, and what I mean is from one bed to another bed on different nights, he could have become infected by lice. My understanding is that one can become infected by clothing, beddings and even toilet seats. So a person does not have to become infected by engaging in sexual intercourse. He or she can get infected, but not necessarily through that way.

I hope that you would not feel embarrassed to discuss this matter with your doctor, or with an experienced nurse at a health centre. I also hope that you will be careful to wash all your bed linens since you have discovered that you have pubic lice. Make sure that you wash everything your children's father wore when he was away. Make sure you get treated for this problem.

Please do not withdraw yourself from your children's father when you believe that you are better, because to withhold sex from him may indeed drive him to other women.

Pastor