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Dear Pastor,

I have been reading your column since I was a teenager. It is very enjoyable. Your column was introduced to me by my ex-girlfriend.

I would buy THE STAR just to read it. I used to fold it up and put it in my lunch bag so that I could give it to her to read because she was not able to purchase the newspaper every day. I was always hoping to meet you in person. Then one day I was at a particular place and I saw you and I asked if you were 'Dear Pastor' and you said yes, and I told you I have been reading your column for a long time. I also told you that it has helped me a lot.

I am now married, but not to the person who introduced me to your column. Presently, I am having some problems with my spouse. She lies a lot, so I am unable to trust her. She has a son and he comes to visit her sometimes but he is a thief. He has stolen my money and my wife has defended him. So I told her not to allow him to return to our house. She said she cannot ban her son from coming to visit her. I know that he stole my money and I am prepared to call the police if he comes back to my house.

Pastor, I am a hard worker. I went abroad to do farmwork and I brought back 'x' amount of money, and this boy came here and stole it. I do not want him back here. I cannot understand why his mother is backing him and defending him. She knows that he is a thief. I want you to tell me what I can do.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

You haven't said a whole lot. I wish you had mentioned why you truly believe that this young man stole your money.

If you suspected that this guy is a thief, why did you have that money in the house? I know some people may say that one has to have a certain amount of money in the home for emergencies. But it is indeed sad to know that this young man has taken away money that you have worked so hard to earn. Why would his mother defend him if she knows that he steals?

I could understand why your wife would find it difficult to tell her son not to return to the home. She would need to have her son visit her occasionally. Perhaps she could tell him that he should not visit when you are not at home. But I do not believe that it would be wise to tell him not to come to your house at all.

I wish you well, my brother. Use wisdom in dealing with your wife and this young man. Always remember that your wife is the mother of this young man. You would not want him to hate you, so treat him right.

Pastor