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Dear Pastor,

I am 31 years old and I have one child, but she is not for the man I am living with. Her father died when she was only one year old.

I hope you would not consider me bad, but the man I am living with was the best friend of my daughter's father. He is also her godfather. My daughter's father was killed in a crash. He and I used to live together and he supported us to the best of his ability.

I attended the University of Technology, Jamaica. I had got a job after my daughter's father died. It took me a long while to get over what happened and to come back to myself. My daughter's father didn't leave much. He did not even have insurance. The man I am living with stepped in; he helped me in every way. He asked his parents to allow me to stay with them and he paid his parents rent for me. His father told him that he should marry me, so they stopped taking money from him. Although I was living there, we did not sleep together. It was when his father suggested that he should marry me that he moved into the room I was sleeping in. My daughter learnt to call him daddy. His parents are saying that they will allow us to stay at their home for another year or two, but we have to get married.

I find them to be very understanding. We are living together as a family and I am now working again. Many people do not know that this man is not my daughter's biological father. But those who knew him before her father died in the crash may feel that he and I were intimate when my daughter's father was alive. That was not the case at all.

V.P.

Dear V.P.,

Don't be worried over what people may say. Just be thankful that this man and you are now in love with each other and you are trying to make a life together.

He is now playing the role of a father and his parents are very supportive. I hope that this man and you would continue to love and care for each other and your daughter. I am also happy that you have got yourself a job. Make sure you save your money and try to invest. Don't be extravagant in spending. Purchase the things that are necessary. I am sure that this man would love to see you adorn yourself well, but that does not mean that you have to spend money every week going to the hairdresser or doing your nails, etc.

Be wise and let me hear from you again.

Pastor