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Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and my boyfriend is 29. We have been lovers for two years. We get along very well.

I used to attend church, but I have not gone for about six months because whenever I go, the women in the church always ask me when I am getting married. Some of them kanow that I have a boyfriend because I run into some of them when I go to the supermarket or other business places.

My boyfriend is not a Christian, and he said that we do not have to get married now. He bought me an engagement ring, so I have been wearing it, but I don't know how long I should wear it. He said by wearing it, I will know that he has good intention towards me. I would love to give this man a child, but I want my child to be born after I am married. Sometimes I punish my boyfriend by refusing to have sex with him because he is taking too long to make a commitment to me.

A brother in my church was in love with me, but I did not like him very much. I got entangled with this man outside of the church. The church brother found another girl and married her. I could have been his wife. Do you think God is punishing me for not marrying that brother?

V.D.

Dear V.D.,

I cannot read the mind of God, so I cannot tell you what He is doing or not doing.

I do know that the Bible says that a believer should not be intimate with a non-believer. That is very clear in the Bible. You knew a Christian young man, he loved you but you did not love him. So he found a girl who loved him and they are happily married. You did not do anything wrong by not marrying this man because you did not love him. Unfortunately, the man that you are in love with is dragging his feet. He is not ready to be married. He has bought you an engagement ring to keep you quiet. But you want him to make that very important commitment to you by marrying you.

I hope that he would do so very soon because you do not intend to leave him. You should not stop attending church. You should go as often as possible and, occasionally, you should ask the believers to pray for you. Prayer can move mountains, so to speak. I wish you well.

Pastor