ÐÓ°ÉÐÔ°É

Dear Pastor,

I am a 27-year-old Rastaman and I have been in love with a girl from the time she was 15 years old; now she is 20.

She used to go natural. She passed her exams with my help and now she has a job. But she has started to wear lots of make-up and doesn't look as beautiful as when she was going natural. I asked her why she has started to paint her face and lips and put on this red nail polish on her fingers. She says everybody at her workplace is doing it and she doesn't want to look like the odd one. She told me that she knows I don't like it, but she is not doing it from her heart, it is just to hold her job and to not put pressure on me.

I had promised to help her to go to school. But I told her that I may have to withdraw the promise because I can't go anywhere with a woman who is not looking natural. When I tell you that I loved the girl, it is from my heart. I still love her, but this thing is bothering me. She told me that if I had genuinely loved her, I wouldn't give up on her and I would try and understand why she is using make-up. Although I have loved her from she was 15, I did not touch her until the day after her 16th birthday, and I gave her a cell phone that I ordered through a friend who is in America.

What am I going to do now? I don't want any other man to go where I was - the first man to go with this woman. I told her she should consider leaving the job if she would have to wear this make-up. Her toenails are now painted in green. I am very upset, so I am asking you to give me your advice. So it is green toenails, red fingernails and dark brown lips. Please tell me how you feel about what I have tried to explain to you.

R.P.

Dear R.P.,

I believe that this young lady still loves you and I have no doubt in my mind that you love her, but you are upset.

I hope that both of you would come to an understanding. When a man says he loves a natural woman, does that mean that she should not wear any make-up at all? Could you not meet this young lady halfway? I don't know, I am only asking questions. If a woman does not wear lipstick, is there anything that she can put on her cheeks that would enhance her beauty? Can she not wear clear fingernail polish that you will be willing to accept? The nail polish she is wearing might be very loud, but hear me sir, if you know this woman has character, I would suggest that you overlook certain things and reason with her and try to understand that you should not demand too much from her.

There is a word that is called compromise, so try to compromise with her and I wish both of you well. Don't stop the plans that you were making for her to go back to school. Both of you have been in love with each other for too long a time for you to try and turn back the clock at this time.

Pastor