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Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I have been living with a woman for nine years. We have three children together.

I am very faithful to her, and she said that she has been faithful to me. She has two sisters who have migrated. One of them left her son with us, so we have been taking care of him. He has taken up with bad company and is smoking the weed. I told him that he should not be doing that in our house, but he is still smoking it. I told him that we would have to put him out if he does not stop. He is 18 years old.

The young man cursed bad words to me and told me he can find another place to go. So I called his mother, who spoke to him, but he still left our house. The young man has great potential. He is not dunce, but it seems as if the weed has gone to his head. The crowd he is moving with is not just guys, there are girls in the group, too, and they always seem to have money. The young man is destroying himself. My wife told him that he should go for counselling and he told her that she is the one who needs counselling, because the weed gives him wisdom.

If he had not used expletives to me, I would have tolerated him in the house, but no one is going to come into my house and disrespect me. The boy had his own bathroom here and his aunt used to do the washing for him. Every day she is crying and wondering what he is doing with himself.

Not everybody should smoke ganja. Some persons' heads can't take it. But with this young man, I didn't want him to stay here and tell me what to do with my mother. I would not even want my mother to hear what this young man told me.

Pastor, we were not even charging his mother anything for him to live in our house. Do you think I did the right thing to put him out?

O.D.

Dear O.D.,

You are quite correct in throwing this young man out of your house. He's running around with the wrong crowd, and he has no respect for you or his aunt, who is your woman.

I know that his aunt would want you to allow him to stay in your house, but you would be destroying your family if you did so. Let the young man find another place to go, and in the meantime, encourage his mother to persuade him to drop the crowd he is moving with, and to seek counselling. You haven't done anything wrong, my friend. All you have done is to show him tough love.

Pastor