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Dear Pastor,

I am 42 years old and I have been married for 15 years. We have two children. We have our own house, but we are still paying mortgage.

Our children are doing well in school. Two years ago, I discovered something that I was previously not aware of. My husband went to England to attend a conference and he spent a couple of nights at the home of a former girlfriend. He did not tell me that he was going to stay at her home. Arrangements were made for him to stay at a hotel, but my bad husband did not spend all the time at the hotel. He went to his former girlfriend. Evidently, he had the time of his life.

When he came back to Jamaica, he never told me that he saw her, but I saw text messages from her thanking him for the good time they had together. She regretted that he had to return to Jamaica.

This woman has her husband, but they are not together. When I pressed my husband about what happened, he admitted that he broke his marriage vow. He then told me that I should not have searched his phone. I did not search his phone, but messages have a way of popping up on a cell phone and I was curious, so I read it.

I went to the doctor to see whether my husband caught a disease but I am in the clear. I am having a difficult time forgiving him for what he did. My husband was only away for two weeks. He knew that he was coming back to me so why did he have to go to this woman?

Whenever my husband stays out late, I wonder whether he has gone with another woman. Pastor, that thought never came to my mind until I found out that he cheated on me.

B.L.

Dear B.L.,

You both love each other and you have lived in harmony. You have lovely children. He allowed himself to go astray when he went to England. He met his old girlfriend and he yielded to temptation. You know there is a saying, 'ole fire stick easy to catch'?. He was happy to see this woman and probably she was eager to renew their friendship, and both of them went too far.

But you know that he is a good man. This woman missed him so much that she had to write and let him know.

This instrument that is called the cellular phone has caused many relationships to break up. I urge you to forgive your husband. He has asked you to forgive him, please do so. Let that woman stay where she is. She has lost her husband.

Your husband has returned to you in Jamaica. Don't give her the pleasure of hearing that you have left your husband because of her.

I think I have said enough.

Pastor