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Dear Pastor,

I'm facing a personal struggle. I'm a teenage boy, and I've been masturbating regularly. I started when I was 15, but I often feel guilty about it. This feeling began after I attended a camp where one of the counsellors told our group that, as Christians, we should not masturbate. He said it was wrong. He then asked how many of us masturbated, and about four of us raised our hands. He rebuked us, and I felt deeply embarrassed.

Later, when we returned to the dorms, most of the guys said they didn't think there was anything wrong with masturbation. Some even called the counsellor a fool. A few of the older boys admitted they were sexually active, while others said they weren't, but they experienced frequent erections and used masturbation as a form of release.

I would like to ask you whether there is any portion in the Bible that condemns masturbation. In our young people's meeting, we were told to write questions and to drop them in a box. I asked whether masturbation is a sin. And this time there were not only boys in the group, but girls too, so the discussion became very interesting. The leader said that he did not know any verse in the Bible that he can point us to, that says it is a sin.

I was surprised to learn from some of the girls that they too masturbate.

I would like for you to help me. I do masturbate often. I do not have a girlfriend, but it is not because I cannot get one. I prefer not to get one because I don't want anyone to distract me from my lessons, but please help me to get over this guilty feelings that come over me whenever I masturbate.

R.S

Dear R.S.,

I have been counselling for many years and this question about masturbation has always been raised. Some Bible teachers have condemned the practice and they speak in such a way as to give the impression that they have the backing of scripture. I maintain that the Bible is silent on this topic. And whenever the Bible is silent, I wish to be very careful not to speak as if I have scriptural authority.

I am sorry that your camp counsellor condemned you because you have the courage to say that you masturbate. Your counsellor was not a wise man. He had no scriptural grounds to stand on. He could have said that he does not believe that a teenager should masturbate. But to say that it is a sin and to rebuke you, he has made himself a fool.

When I was doing my undergrad studies. I had to do a research on masturbation, and I was surprised to know that it wasn't males alone who struggle with the habit, but also females. Some studies show that females masturbate even more than males. Males start to masturbate when they are in their early teens. Females begin when they are in their 20s. Some scientists say that masturbation starts from a child is born.

Why is it that boys touch their penises all the time while growing up as children? It is because it gives them pleasure. And that is what masturbation does. You started to masturbate at 15 because you received pleasure from it, and it gives you a release. It is good to discuss certain topics when you are in your teens, but the person in charge should be competent in answering the questions.

Some adult females masturbate heavily and some adult males do the same, but I may quickly add that some married women also masturbate. Some do it when their husbands are present but their husbands are not fully able to satisfy them, and some do it when their husbands are away from home.

Masturbation is a private matter and no one should condemn the other for doing so. A woman told me that she often masturbates even when she is lying next to her husband and he was aware of it.

I do not want anybody to misunderstand me, and to say that I am suggesting that one should not practise sexual restraint. I am only commenting on what you have written to me about and to tell you that you should not condemn yourself because you masturbate.

I know that the day will come when the feelings to masturbate may subside and that might be after you are married and have your sexual partner. But even then, from time to time, the feeling to masturbate may come over you.

You may have to learn, as a Christian, to keep your body under subjection.

Pastor