ÐÓ°ÉÐÔ°É

Dear Pastor,

I met a man online and we became very good friends. I invited him to visit me in Jamaica. He said he would, but explained that he is currently going through a divorce and won't be able to come until next year.

In the meantime, he introduced me to one of his friends and said that when he is ready to visit, they'll come together.

I started talking to his friend, and now that friend is the one who seems more interested in me. He calls me often. He told me that he has been to Jamaica before and stayed in Negril. At the time, he was still married, but he is now divorced. When I asked him why so many American men don't seem to stay married for long, he said his wife cheated on him and that he wasn't at fault.

The first man I met online has never once asked if I needed anything. But early in getting to know his friend, he asked if I needed anything, and I told him, 'I need everything.'

Since then, he has been sending me money twice per month--enough to pay my rent and light bill. He asked me not to tell his friend that he is helping me financially. I also told him that he should come to Jamaica alone and not wait for his friend to finalise his divorce.

Pastor, I have three children, and I'm eager to meet this man because I truly need the help. He says he is not looking to remarry right away, but if he meets a loving and caring woman who wants to settle down, he might consider it.

I haven't told either of them that I have children because I'm afraid that could turn them off.

Please don't judge me. I'm currently unemployed. I'm on the streets trying to make a living, and I'm well known out there. I want to get off the street, and honestly, I would love the opportunity to go abroad.

I started doing what I do after my children's father left me for another woman. He denies that the children are his, but I know they are. His brother and I get along well, and when I ask him for help with the kids, he gives me money, but their father doesn't care.

I have two lovely twin girls and a boy. I don't work in the area where I live, but I'm good at what I do. I just want the opportunity to spend even one week with this man who said he's been to Jamaica before. The taxi men know me well. I've always been fortunate with foreigners. And even though I'm on the street, I keep myself clean and presentable. I believe you know what I mean.

Do you think I should tell this man I have children before he comes to Jamaica?

I'm slim, I look good, and I consider myself beautiful. I don't bring clients to where I live because I want my children--especially my daughters--to respect me. They believe I work in a hotel. If this man doesn't work out, I'll try to find someone else, because I need a way out. But truth be told, the money I make on the street is more than what many people earn in a regular 9-to-5 job.

Still, I believe that if this man comes and I spend time with him, I could convince him to marry me. He's a white man. Tell me honestly--do you think I'm doing the right thing?

E.M.

Dear E.M.,

I am going to take the liberty to caution you to be very careful. A couple years ago, a young woman asked me to officiate at her wedding. I asked her how she met the groom and she said that they met on the Internet. She spoke highly of him. He came to Jamaica to visit her, and as we say here, they hit it off.

They planned an elaborate wedding. He bought her a very expensive ring. He came back and married her and went back to where he came from. The marriage lasted for about a year. He used this beautiful Jamaican woman. To put it bluntly, he made a fool of her. All he wanted from her was her body, and that was all she had to give.

I am here to tell you that although sex is important in marriage, regardless what type of sex you do, and what type of positions you practise, if there isn't any true love, the marriage will not last.

You are a prostitute and I don't doubt what you were saying. I am sure you have other young women who are also prostitutes, and they tell you what they do and how they do it. I am saying to you don't fool yourself. The sex won't keep this man, even though you feel that you are professional in bed.

You are eager for this man to come because you need money from him. You believe that he would love you so much that he may marry you. Well, he may have a fling with you, but he may not want a prostitute to be his wife.

I hope you are not going to be upset with me for just levelling with you.

I know an American white man who fell in love with a Jamaican girl. She had children but she told him about her children and he loved them and he loved her. The children became his. I had the honour of officiating at that wedding. So, what am I saying to you is even if you do not tell this man that you are a prostitute, please tell him that you are a mother of three children. You should tell him about your children long before he comes to Jamaica.

I wish you well. I really do.

Pastor