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Dear Pastor,

I am living at my parents' home but they are not in Jamaica. They are living in North America.

I am here in the house with one of my sisters. It is a three-bedroom place and has two bathrooms. I control the master bedroom that has its own bathroom. Whenever my parents visit, I give up the room because it is their room. My sister occupies one of the rooms and she has one son who sleeps in the other room. She and her son's father were not getting along and he threatened to abuse her. So I got involved and told him to leave, because, if he touches my sister, I would chop him up. So he left. I thought my sister would have been very happy that I told him to leave, and she appeared that way at first. But now she is begging me to allow him to come back because she misses him.

I asked her how she could be so stupid and she said he is always calling her and begging her pardon. He is always asking her to talk to me on his behalf. My sister is an educated girl. She has been to university and has her degree. This man has nothing. I told my parents what went on and why I asked him to leave, and they told me I am their first born and I am in charge. So, whatever I say, they will go along with it.

I love my sister. She gets along very well with my fiance. I plan to get married soon and, when I do, my husband and I will not be living here. However, we do not plan to rent any part of this house. We are in a position to maintain this place without renting it. It is a place where my parents or their friends, and even relatives, can come and have a vacation.

Do you believe that my sister's boyfriend deserves to be given a second chance? Pastor, don't hold back, tell me the truth.

T.R.

Dear T.R.,

Your sister is missing her man. She has forgiven him for his bad behaviour and she is pleading with you to give him a second chance.

She misses his company and perhaps she also misses what he does to her in the bedroom. But, perhaps every time you see this man, your blood boils, so to speak. Some people say words are wind but words are not wind. Words cut deeply, so every person should weigh his or her words and be careful about what they say.

This man could be given a second chance but he ought to apologise to you for the things he said. So, consider what I have said and make your decision.

Pastor