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Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and I am engaged to be married. I am living with my fiance. It is very hard for him because before he came to live with me, we had an understanding that we would not have sex.

I do not believe in having premarital sex. I grew up in a home where we were told not to have sex before we were married. My mother told us girls that our father never touched her until they were married. I had many opportunities to have sex, but I didn't. My fiance agreed not to touch me in any inappropriate way. I took him into my apartment because he finished his studies and did not want to return to his homeland because he lacked the money. My parents rented this apartment for me, and for the last six months he has been here with me. But they are unaware. My fiance told me that he has had sexual intercourse many times with different women. I don't hold that against him, because he only started to attend church after meeting me.

He confessed that after meeting me, he has only had sex once with another girl and I allow him to masturbate any time he wants, but we have not had sex together. People who see us coming and going may think that we are doing what married people do. Our wedding is set for August 1, so it is not far away. My fiance is asking me why we can't have sex since the date is so close; and suppose something is wrong with him, would I not want to know? He wants to know if anything is wrong with me. I told him I can assure him that nothing is wrong with me, and I am prepared to go to the doctor and bring him a certificate. He said that would be a waste of money.

We read your column regularly. Have the biblical rules changed? What do you think about us having sex now that we have settled on our wedding date and we only have a few weeks to go? I am so anxious to hear from you. I will be looking in THE STAR every day for your answer.

E.C.

Dear E.C.,

I will have to admit to you that after reading what the young man said, that there are only a few days before both of you are married, so why can't you not have sexual intercourse together, I smiled.

That sounds reasonable. Would you not want to know if something is wrong with him? The truth is, you know very well that nothing is wrong with him. You don't have to go to bed with him to know, because he has already told you that he was a very promiscuous young man. You have told him that you can go to the doctor to prove that your hymen is intact. He does not want you to do so because he considers that a waste of money.

Listen, nothing concerning premarital sex in the Bible has changed. It is still considered fornication. You need to be proud of yourself because you have remained a virgin all these years. It is only a few days to go before you are married, so your fiance can wait, and that is how I see it.

Pastor