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Dear Pastor,

I am a 17-year-old girl and I have a problem I would like to share with you. My parents were married and I am their only child.

When I was seven years of age, they left me with my grandparents and went to North America. They told my grandparents that as soon as they were settled, they would come for me. I grew up hoping that the day would come when my parents would return to Jamaica and take me to be with them. But that day never came. My mother called me often, two or three times per week, but my father only calls occasionally.

One day my grandmother told me that my parents' relationship is not going well. My grandmother started to cry, so I knew it was something serious. That night my grandmother told me I should come and sleep with her. My grandfather slept in another room. My mother called my grandmother and they spoke for a long time. I fell sleep. My parents got a divorce and my mother married another man. I asked my mother why she broke up with my father and she told me that she did so because her new husband could get her papers and enable her to file for me.

When my father called me, I asked him about my mother and he told me that there is nothing that she can do that will turn his mind against me. I love my father. Sometimes he would call my grandmother and tell her that he loves her and he sent money to her for both of us. My father has not remarried, but he has his permanent papers and he plans to come to Jamaica soon. I am more anxious to see my father than my mother. My father wants to take me to the embassy to get a visa. I don't know how that would work.

I am doing well in school and my grandparents are just wonderful to be around. I am trying not to take sides, but according to my grandmother, my mother went off the cliff.

P.T.

Dear P.T.,

Give thanks for your grandparents. They have tried their best to raise you. Family life can be very challenging.

One never knows what the future holds. America is a wonderful place but some people seem to believe that if one does not live there, one cannot have a happy marriage. Some people do many wrong things to live there and in so doing, they destroy their marriage.

I am glad that your father continues to support you. I hope that when he comes, he can assist you in applying for a visa. You will have a big say in the decision that he may want to make for you. I am sure you have goals - work towards them. Continue to love your grandparents and your parents. I wish you well.

Pastor