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Dear Pastor,

I am a 35-year-old man and I am married. I have two children with my wife, but I wanted another child, because we have daughters and I wanted a boy to carry my name.

But my wife told me that she would not have another child, and I am not the type of man who will go out and try to have a son. I have been advised that I should consider adopting a boy. But my wife does not agree for us to adopt. She believes that we should raise our girls and be satisfied.

My wife told me that having children has changed her body. She is not looking sexy any more. My wife looks very attractive. She cannot bring herself to get pregnant. Life has been very good to us as a family. We can support another child. I have two brothers and they have sons. Sometimes they tease me and say that my back is too weak and that is why I do not have a son. Don't get me wrong, I have been enjoying my daughters, they are lovely girls and are very beautiful. But they cannot take the place of a boy.

Is there anything that I can do to convince my wife that we should have another child? I would love to hear from you.

Initials withheld.

Dear Writer,

I would like to suggest that you should continue to enjoy your daughters. Sometimes daughters give many problems, and mothers are always cautioning them not to go and get pregnant.

But girls who are well trained and loved by their parents can become very close to their fathers. I remember talking to a lady who had two daughters and she said that their father was not a good man to her, but her daughters thought highly of him although he did not support them. I remember visiting their home, and the woman was so happy to see me, she said "Pastor, this is the man I have been telling you about. He gives lots of trouble." The gentleman, who was of a high rank in the security forces, said to her "Alright, I am a changed man now. I am going to begin to treat you well." He said, "Pastor she is a very good woman, but she is speaking the truth, I have not been very good to her." I remember leaving that house knowing that that man was nothing but a liar. Not many months later, he became ill and died. He was not a good man, but his daughters loved him.

Now, sir, your daughters love and appreciate you. Continue to take good care of them. If at all possible, find someone who has a son who is in need of help. Take him as your very own and support him. He does not have to be your biological son, but that boy will grow up and thank God for the help you have given him. I wish you well, my brother. Take good care of yourself and family.

Bye-bye.

Pastor