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Dear Pastor,

I am in my 40s and I am experiencing changes in my life. My friends told me that I might be going through menopause.

I am experiencing hot flashes in my entire body. Sometimes in the cool of the day, I am experiencing heat and I have to be fanning myself when everybody around me seems to be so cool. It is over one year now that I am experiencing this excess heat in my body. Recently, I went to a doctor and she told me that what I am experiencing is normal. I could not understand how I have been experiencing pain. I have not gone out with any other man. I have been having sex with one man, and sometimes I experience a little burning and I suffer from a little pain. The doctor told me that I should not be overly concerned about it because that happens when a woman is going through menopause.

Why should women go through these things? I urinate frequently. I understand from other women that I may suffer these discomforts for about two years. I can stand the irritation in having sex with my man, but the hot flashes are embarrassing. When my husband sees me fanning, all he says to me is, "You feeling hot, hot, hot, but not for me." He jokes about it all the time.

D.S.

Dear D.S.,

Menopause is a period of life that all women will go through, but it does not affect every woman the same way.

Hot flashes are something that is associated with menopause, and when your husband teases you, when you are fanning, he does not mean any harm and you know that very well. Years ago, there was a popular song " Ole ole ole... feeling hot, hot, hot." Sometimes in life one has to joke about these things, otherwise one may become very depressed.

Your husband knows what you are going through and it will not be for life. You will eventually get over menopause. So what I will encourage you to do, make sure that your doctor explains why you feel a little pain during sexual intercourse. Please do what she has advised you to do. Soon the period of menopause would be over

Pastor