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Dear Pastor,

I read your column often and I can say that you are doing a good job. Some of my friends say that they are afraid of you because you are 'facety'. but I like the way you talk to people straight.

My father is just like that; you cannot talk to him and not know where he stands. My father didn't allow me to go out with guys until I was 16 and even when we were going out in groups, I had to get home by 8 p.m. I thought my father was too strict but it was meant for my good.

I am now 21 and I am in love with a 25-year-old man. We are not married but I am carrying his child. I made a big mistake by allowing him to get me pregnant, because now I am hearing that another woman is also carrying his child. He used to take me to work and anywhere I wanted to go without charging me. He was operating a robot taxi so I thought I was special to him. I started to live with him, and whenever he did not come home early, he used to tell me that he had special charter, so he was 'hustling'. I used to believe him.

When I found myself pregnant, I could have thrown away the belly but I had a friend who lost her life after she had an abortion and I did not want to take that chance with my life. This man has not even apologised for getting this other woman pregnant. He is only saying that he made a mistake, but he loves me more than the other woman. Whenever he comes home, he turns off his phone so nobody can reach him.

I know the name of the woman he got pregnant. She is older than I am and has two children. When I ask him why he has to go to an older woman than himself, he said that age does not matter to him. But age matters to me. I told him to try and get a red plate on his vehicle but he is not listening. I still love him. I don't' know what he is going to do after I have the baby. My mother told me that she would help me take care of the baby and I should not depend on this man for everything.

My mother used to like him but since I told her that another woman is pregnant for him, her love for him has changed.

Z.R.

Dear Z.R,

Don't fret over your present situation. I know you have made mistakes but this man is to be blamed for his infidelity.

Two women should not be pregnant for him at the same time. He is irresponsible. He felt that he could do anything and get away with it because he used to give you rides in his car and didn't charge you, and you knew that he was running 'robot.' He enjoyed himself with you and you gave yourself over to him as payment for the free rides that he used to give to you.

I hope that he is giving you money to prepare for the birth of this child. Life will not be the same after you have given birth because this man would have to be taking care of the other woman who is also carrying his child. You are working, so hold on to your job and give money to your loving mother every week. I don't know what type of work you are doing but if it is at all possible, go back to school.

I wish you well.

Pastor