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Earlier this month when Alicea Samaru-Brown walked across the stage at The University of the West Indies (UWI) graduation, she beamed with pride. Her husband, Dennis Brown, and her son, Orlando Brown, cheered the loudest from the audience and this warmed the heart of the early childhood education teacher.

Her life, however, has been far from rosy and a recount of her painful and traumatic past would leave even a stone-hearted listener with teary eyes. The 47-year old has been viciously raped on three different occasions by a total of seven men before she was 18 years old. In addition to dropping out of four high schools, she was also placed in state care. She, however, now holds a Bachelor in Education in Early Childhood Development. Having overcome the worst , she is encouraging others with a dark past to use their experiences as stepping stones.

“See your struggles as staircases to take you to a whole new dimension. See them as a platform to show that you are more than your dreadful past. Always remember your past does not represent who you are and you are who your Creator says you are. God will finish it for you and it doesn’t matter what you have been through. Just remember that you can make it and it doesn’t matter what age you are,” she said.

In a tear-jerking interview, Samaru-Brown took a journey down memory lane and shared what she remembered of her painful past. At just eight years old, her little world turned upside down when a relative of a friend raped her.

“He was an adult and he raped me. I was just eight years old. Somebody tried to stop it but she was outside. I tried to fight him but he continued. I didn’t know what to tell my parents because I didn’t want anything to happen to them. I didn’t want them to get hurt so I didn’t tell them until I was in my 30s. Years later, my rapist contacted me and told me that he loved me and I was the one for him, and that he loved me from that time. I couldn’t see through that because I was just eight,” she said.

Samaru-Brown said the horrific experience damaged her childhood and she started exhibiting behaviours that her parents did not understand. She became disobedient and promiscuous even through she had began to develop a hatred for males.

“I was smoking, drinking and leaving the house and not coming home even though I was just a kid. I remember I was still in primary school and a teacher realised something was wrong with me and she told me that I wouldn’t come out to anything. When I did the Common Entrance [Examination], she told me that it didn’t make any sense I looked in the paper because I couldn’t pass anything. I will never ever forget it,” she recalled.

In those days, the names of children who were successful in the Common Entrance, the exam used to place students in high school, were published in The Gleaner. Samaru-Brown said her name was not published “but a post man rode up with a mail that said I got a government scholarship for St Hugh’s High School”.

Unfortunately, Samaru-Brown said she didn’t complete the first form. She told THE STAR that she lost her place due to poor academic performance. She enrolled at three other high schools, St Elizabeth Technical, Dinthill Technical and Marcus Garvey Technical but did not complete high school.

“I didn’t pass 3rd form. I was very rebellious in my teenage years. I was having relationships I shouldn’t have. I am still wondering why I did, because I didn’t love these men. I just felt like I had to do it. I remember one of my boyfriends was a sound selector and I loved that. I would go to dance with my spliff and I was very young,” Brown said.

Deemed as a child in need of care and protection, the now mother of one said she was placed in state care.

“My parents just couldn’t control mi. I remember being at one particular girl’s home and I saw a group of girls held down another girl and they pushed a mop stick into her vagina and the girl was screaming. I told myself no one was going to do that to me so I ran away and went to Linstead,” she said.

Little did Samaru-Brown know that another dark encounter was lurking around the corner.

“I will never forget it. I was about 14 and the five men backed me up and batteried me. I was screaming for them to stop, but when I realised that the first two had their way and they weren’t going to stop I just lay down and I felt like I was dead. They did their thing and the police found me lying on the street after. They didn’t even asked me anything and I didn’t say anything as I was very ashamed. I was seen as just a bad kid and I was sent back to my parents,” Samaru-Brown said.

She said her parents continued to pray for her but still did not understand the reason behind her behaviour. With no time to recover from the sexual abuse, Brown said she was raped again. This time by a relative.

“It was the summer holidays and my parents sent me to spend time with a family member and a relative raped me. He took out his belt and beat mi and said, ‘Gal, open yuh two foot dem. Yuh nuh hear mi say open yuh foot dem’. All of this happened before I was 18 years old, and honestly I would have given up on life, but I now believe that my Creator allow all of those things to happen for a better purpose,” Samaru-Brown said.

The God-fearing woman said her life began to change when her parents started holding fasting sessions and prayer meetings, making positive declarations over her.

“In 1997, I took my GCE exams and earned five subjects. I developed a warrior spirit, fighting back despite my low self-esteem, knowing I had a purpose,” she shared. Brown worked as a National Youth Service assistant teacher and then earned levels one and two in Early Childhood Education from NCTVET.

Though initially turned down at St Joseph College due to lack of qualifications, Brown persevered. Along the way she earned scholarships from the Culture, Health, Arts, and Early Childhood Education (CHASE) Fund, first to St Joseph College where she graduated as valedictorian and later to UWI.

She said that she has been able to overcome her hatred for men and is now “happily married” for more than 25 years.

“My husband Dennis is my gem and I have a son who I love very much,” said Samaru-Brown, who now teaches at Naggo Head Infant School in St Catherine.