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Ever since her son, Dilshan McLean, stepped through the doors of Bridgeport Primary School in Portmore, St Catherine, Monique Hill dreamt of cheering the loudest on at his graduation ceremony.

She had dreams of rushing to his school on the day that his Primary Exit Profile (PEP) results are released, and putting things in place to help him transition into high school. Sadly, none of this will ever happen.

Dilshan died on April 1, 2022, after being struck by a motorist outside of his school gate.

"Life is hard," Hill told THE STAR yesterday, her voice heavy with sadness. "Today is Dilshan's graduation, and honestly to God, if mi could open mi heart and show yuh how in there look, or just give it to yuh for a day, then people would understand what I am feeling. I am suppose to be going to graduation but I can't," she said.

Since 2022, some 1,466 persons have died as a result of road crashes. As of June 1, based on data from the Road Traffic Unit, 19 persons under the age of 20 years old have died as a result of crashes. For Hill, the data does not tell the impact that crashes have on the lives of persons. In her case, the loss of her only child has meant that it is not a case of dreams being deferred, it's dreams denied.

"Mi did just wah feel what it feel like when yuh child pass PEP, but mi alone never get that opportunity because mi don't have no pickney," Hill said.

"Every mother looks forward to see which school dem child pass for. Mi always tell miself seh when him reach grade 5, him a guh do evening classes because mi want him pass for good school. Dilshan always had his mind on attending Bridgeport High. When we a walk a morning time, him always a tell mi that was his school. He went to the infant then primary and wanted to go to the high school," Hill added.

It has been three years since her child's death, but Hill said the wounds are still fresh. She has had to attend counselling to help her deal with the loss, and has become withdrawn.

"The hardest year is this year and yesterday mi cry until mi eye dem swell," Hill said.

"Mi want back Dilshan and can't get him back and mi wish God could just take away mi memory. Mi don't want to remember anything at all because him not coming back. The other day I saw one of his friends and he was big, and I just imagine how my son woulda tall. A three years now him dead and people feel like mi nah try. Mi can't get over my baby," Hill added between tears.

The motorist who is alleged to have been driving the vehicle at the time of the incident has been charged and is currently before the court.