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"Mi cry every day!" That's the haunting reality Anshellee Trought lives with as a mother enduring unimaginable pain.

June 26 marked exactly one year since she last saw or held her son, Roshawn English. Affectionately called 'Poppy', he was just two years old when he went missing from his yard in Red Ground, Old Harbour, St Catherine. Trought told THE STAR that that afternoon, about 5 p.m., she had stepped inside briefly to get things ready for his bath. But when she came back outside, he was gone.

Following his disappearance, both his parents launched an immediate search. The police were called and dogs were brought in to pick up his scent. But despite their best efforts, there have been no confirmed sightings or leads. In the days and weeks that followed, Trought said that she was consumed by grief. She couldn't eat, sleep, or function. But now, a year later, she's trying to push through for the sake of her younger son, who was only four months old at the time.

"I don't think it's something anyone could understand," she said quietly. "But I'm trying to cope with it. I actually just drown myself in work. Even though I have flashbacks of him and the happy memories make me smile, it always hits me again that my child is missing."

"Every morning before I start work, mi haffi cry. It's hard, especially because every time I look at my one-year-old, it's like I'm seeing Poppy. They're like twins. Every single thing he does reminds me of his brother. But I keep going because I know he needs me," she added.

For Trought, June 26 is not just another date - it's a painful reminder of the moment her world shattered. While others went about their daily routine, she found herself stuck once again in a cycle of grief.

"For that day, mi just haffi stay home and grieve," Trought said. "I didn't go to work, didn't do anything. I just sat down and cried for the whole day. It doesn't get easier. Every day I wake up and realise mi haffi live another day not knowing where my baby is, mi cry."

To allow her to work, her partner opted to start working from home so he could stay with their younger son. The family is so traumatised by what happened to Roshawn that they don't trust anyone else to care for their child, not even close relatives.

"If mi nuh have him, his father have him," Trought explained. "We just won't take the risk and let him out of our sight for a moment."

If he was with his family, Trought would be preparing to send Roshawn off to school this September. But instead of shopping for uniforms and supplies like other parents, she's bracing for yet another painful milestone without her son.

"Everywhere mi go and mi see a baby his age, mi haffi turn around and look," she said. "One time mi deh pon a bus and hear a man did a talk bout him baby and seh him always say 'daddy tea' -- and because a the same thing Poppy used to say, mi haffi ask the man if mi can see a picture a him baby. Mi always a look out fi mi baby. Mi pray every day. Father God, just give mi a break and mek mi just see him."

Despite the pain, the flashbacks and the sleepless nights, Trought refuses to give up hope. She firmly believes her son is alive, somewhere out there, waiting to be reunited with his family. And to whoever took him, her plea is simple.

"I hope he's well taken care of. And I hope you have something in your heart to know that he has a family that is grieving. His family needs him. Please, please just bring him back."