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Every morning before the sun rises, Chris* slips on his worn work boots, checks the CBP Home app for immigration updates, and quietly disappears into the day.

For 22 years, Chris has had no ID, no green card, and no real peace. His life has been just work, worry, and a never-ending wait. But now, the US government, through the CBP Home app, is offering him something he never expected: US$1,000 (approximately J$153,000) and a one-way ticket to Jamaica, if he willingly gives up the only life he's known for two decades. The app, formerly known as CBP One, was launched in 2023 by then US President Joe Biden to help migrants schedule appointments and apply for work authorisation. But the Trump administration has repurposed it to allow illegal immigrants to 'self-deport'.

"Fi tell yuh the truth, mi never imagine it [would] reach yah so," Chris told THE STAR. "Mi always did plan fi sort out mi papers. But one minute mi a hustle; next minute, 20-odd years gone."

He came to the US in the early 2000s as a 20-something-year-old with hope and a suitcase full of ambition. His mission was simple: find work, send some money home, and return to Jamaica to build a better life. But plans turned into routines. Then came a woman, a child, a church family, and the quiet rhythm of survival.

"Mi come yah fi better miself. Mi never plan fi stay illegal," he said. "But life have a way a trapping yuh between intention and reality."

Chris lives in a small apartment where, these days, he barely opens his curtains. He works construction jobs for cash under the table and goes straight home afterwards. No lyming. No hanging out. No social media. Just a shadow life.

"Mi nuh party, mi nuh par. Mi go work and come back in. Mi cya afford fi get ketch. When Trump win, mi whole body get cold. Mi start live even more quiet. Mi feel like mi a trespass pan mi own life," he admitted. Despite his fear, Chris said he pays rent on time, helps out at church, and still sends barrels back to family in Jamaica. But legality still eludes him.

"Mi follow di law. Mi pay mi dues. But mi cya vote, cya travel, cya even tek out a library card," he said. "Mi deh yah, but mi nuh really deh yah."

The Trump administration is selling the self-deportation programme as a "dignified exit", a softer, cheaper alternative to detention or forced deportation, that it says costs US taxpayers more than US$17,000 per person. But to Chris, the cheaper alternative feels like a betrayal wrapped in a bribe.

"What $1,000 can do? That cya buy back mi sacrifice. That cya build back 22 years. Mi nuh take hush money fi give up mi life." He downloaded the app and even hovered over the 'apply' button once. But the thought of returning to a Jamaica he hasn't seen in more than 20 years unsettles him. His mother died while he was "sorting out" his papers, forcing him to miss her last words and funeral.

"Mi cya tell yuh di last time mi see mi mada. Mi plan fi go when she get sick, but mi couldn't risk it. Immigration did hot. She dead, and mi did deh yah...just waiting. Mi cya forgive miself fi that," he said. He fears becoming a stranger in both countries.

"Mi whole life tie up inna dis place. Mi work yah. Mi pickney dem born yah. Mi faith grow yah. A which part mi fi start over? A $1,000 cya reset mi life."

"It rough. Mi live wid fear every day. But yuh see hope? A dat mi hold on to. Hope seh one day mi can step outta di shadows, not through a back door, but through a front one," he added.

*name changed to protect identity