ÐÓ°ÉÐÔ°É

Every morning, Danielle Hall wakes up with aching joints and a body that feels twice its age.

Still, she forces herself out of bed, brushes her teeth through the pain, and whispers a quiet prayer before logging into work. According to her, lupus won't win unless she lets it.

Diagnosed in 2011 at the age of 21, Hall had already spent years chasing answers to unexplained pain and crushing fatigue.

"It began with bacterial meningitis," she said. "After getting over that, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2009. But I still had symptoms that didn't match, so I kept going back to the hospital." Two years and multiple hospital stays later, her tests finally came back positive for lupus, a chronic autoimmune disease that causes the immune system to attack the body's own tissues, leading to joint pain, organ damage, and overwhelming exhaustion.

"It was bittersweet," she recalled. "Sweet because I could finally be treated, bitter because it was another condition to deal with. I didn't know much about lupus, only that my friend's mom died from it. That scared me."

Fourteen years later, Hall takes about 20 tablets daily, not counting the supplements she needs to support her fragile immune system.

"It's about pain management, what pain allows me to do from what it doesn't." Some days she pushes through, but other days her body refuses to cooperate.

"Sometimes I can only brush my teeth, make tea, and go back to bed," she said. "Other times, lupus and fibromyalgia compete in my body for which one will cause the most discomfort.

"I won't get more than three hours at any point. And if I'm not resting, I'm not repairing. I get very weary and drained during the day," she added. Last year, she was hospitalised for five weeks due to renal complications.

"That felt like I was away from the world," she said. "I had to condition my mind that this is for my own good."

As if lupus and fibromyalgia weren't enough, Hall also battles Sjogren's syndrome, another autoimmune disease that affects the body's moisture-producing glands, often leading to dry eyes, dry mouth, and severe dental issues.

"If I could exchange Sjogren's for lupus, I would take lupus in a heartbeat," she said. "My dental bill is over a million dollars."

The illness hasn't only reshaped her body; it has altered the course of her entire life. She once dreamt of studying language and linguistics, but her mother's illness and the high cost of her treatment forced her to start working. Hall now works from home as a customer service representative with a company that understands her needs.

"My last nine-to-five job wore me down. I couldn't do it any more, so I left. Now, when I feel well, I put in the extra effort because I know there are days [when] I can't," she said. Even as she battles lupus, she's lost key people in her life as well. Her mother, who had diabetes, hypertension and neuropathy, died nine years ago.

"She was my everything, my main support during my journey. She suffered really badly. The comfort is that she's no longer in pain," said Hall. Then, her father passed away the day she was discharged from the hospital.

"Thinking [that] I have no mother or father... it's something I still cope with." Hall's appearance has changed, too.

"I went from 140 pounds to a weight I'm not ready to disclose. It happened so fast, it was depressing," she said. "As Jamaicans, we don't always know how to approach people. [People say] 'Yuh get fat eeh?' Even when they know what's causing it," she lamented. Despite everything, she holds on to her faith.

"I am a child of God. I believe I'll always be okay. God will send the help I need." On the days when pain threatens to win, Hall still shows up, even if it means sitting in silence or smiling through the pain.

"I have to push myself. I have to get up, dress up, and show up. Lupus will manifest if I allow it, so I fight back."